Being a nice guy is probably the worst thing to be when it comes to online dating.
You are a little more than collateral damage, as the large majority of guys slather, drool and stomp their way through the crowds, scaring off most of the nice girls that arrive on these sites, as evidenced by the interview above.
He spends time every day carefully browsing through profiles and looking for women who he feels share his same interests – beyond the dating site’s algorithm which promises to perform its own magic in matchmaking. I spent hours trying to create a profile that shows people what I’m really like. Sure, I get a lot of profile “views”, but no messages.
Despite his efforts, few girls ever answer his carefully crafted, very kind messages. I started out using Match.com, but then a friend told me that the success rate is much better on OKCupid, so I switched over to that. I’ve scheduled about an hour a day to browse through profiles and I look for several things.
Words on a page can only tell you so much and often, they are not the best “first impressions”.
I don’t know, maybe some girls might think of that as a compliment but personally, I would have preferred a simple message like, “Hey, would you like to talk?
I saw that some of your interests were the same as mine,” or something along those lines.
Ironically enough, if you could take the best of those women and the best of those men, and place them in a big room where they could sit at a table and ask each other questions in person – you’d probably have 4 or 5 new match-ups by the end of the night. All they have to do is get online every day, sitting on their princess throne and file through the dozens or more profiles of men who have messaged them throughout the day.
The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.